Float on . . .

I've had plenty of opportunities to reflect lately, and it’s hard to reflect too long without the image of my cousin Anna floating on to better places.  When I let those reflections take a darker, more existential route, I reach the upsetting realization that I had a chance to write to Anna in the month before she floated on, and I didn’t.  Now, looking back, all things considered, it hurts to realize I had that open-ended invitation to write something back to her, and that I never did.

Our exchange went like this:  “Happy Birthday Anna!” etc, and she responded (yes, she took the time to respond to me!) with “Thanks Laura!  Hope you’ve been having a good summer.  I remember reading it thinking, I should really reply.  But then something stopped me; I was petrified by what to say and by every way my words could potentially be misconstrued or misinterpreted; I worried that nothing I said could be significant to her.  Somewhere in all that hesitation, I never responded.  I forgot that important part where you actually transfer those thoughts to the computer and push the send button.

There’s so much I wish I had said.  Instead, my fear and my pride held me back from communicating with a cousin with only months to live.  Instead, I always meant to write her and never got around to it, and then suddenly Dad sat us down, looked at us, and said Anna was floating on.  Instead of being all caught up in myself and my worries, I should have thought about Anna and how my words of encouragement, support, and admiration, could have possibly brightened her day. 

“Dear Anna,” I might have said, “You are an amazing young woman.  You are so beautiful and strong.  You’re selfless, brave, and incredibly loving.  You’ve inspired me with your hope, peace, and love, and you’ve touched a million people.  I’m praying for you and your family, and I know you all will stay strong and continue to lean on God.  Keep fighting, Anna.  You’re amazing.  Love, Laura.”

Instead, nothing.  Now, instead of beating myself up over this, I’m learning.  Anna continues to impact my life and to teach the meaning of friendship and love.  Thanks to Anna, I’ve come to appreciate friends, family, and love even more, and as a result, I’ve realized you should always take that time to reach out to your friends, even if it is to just say hi.

It only takes two minutes to enter someone’s life again.  Thanks to technology, all you have to do is log into Facebook, search a friend, and leave a little note on the wall.   I’m trying to leave notes on friends’ walls when I haven’t seen them for months, or even years.   I text random people just to say hi, how are you.  So I’m challenging you to reach out to your friends again.  Take the time to say hi, to ask a few questions, to show you remember them and that you care.  You never know what could have happened in their lives or when they’re going to float on.

Because God works in mysterious ways.

Float on, Anna Lee Basso, float on.

Resolution

Ahem.  I hereby publicly and resolutely resolve to blog not once but THREE times a week until school starts, at which point I hope the habit will be firmly established and readily continued. It's not lack of ideas, really, or lack of cute, innocent stories from camp, but rather a lack of dedication and the occasional struggle to find the right voice for a blog.  There's also the issue of filtering - what exactly should be public?  Should I share the deeper musings and hope that people stay interested, or should I stick to less profound and more to the amusing?

Writing is such an interesting thing.  I still love it immensely, but blogging is a different area, and I'm still understanding how to make it work for me.  What are my goals for blogging?  Partially it serves to keep people - such as grandparents and friends from Oregon and Denison - updated on my new and exciting life at Grinnell, but I also want to share a little more, to give myself a voice, however small and sarcastic, in the big bad world of the internet.

So while I muse on what next to post, take a look at my post from Urban Connection.  I can't believe five weeks have flown by already - only three more with the kids who have brought so much joy into my life.  <3

Hello World

Hello world.

I am still working hard with the kids in San Antonio.  It’s a challenging but rewarding job, and, remarkably, each weekend I start to miss the kids and to look forward to returning to work.  I miss the giggles, smiles, and incredible cuteness.  J  Two examples: yesterday I told three five-year-olds that I was leaving for the day, and in unison they screamed, “NOOOOOO.”  I felt loved and appreciated.  Then, on Thursday, two girls were clinging to me and holding my hands with near death-grips, when one of them, Elysa, looked up on me and said, “I love you.  I’m gonna miss you!”  This was promptly followed by an “I love you” from Melanie. 

And then I started thinking about the end of the summer, and I realized I will miss all the kids quite a bit.  Also, to be honest, I’m a bit tired of waking up talking to imaginary kids.  J  It’ll be hard to leave those cute faces and those constant hugs, BUT . . . I’ll be leaving those hugs for a much bigger and much missed one . . .

You see, I love my summer job and the break from school and being with family, but I am so excited to be back in Grinnell.  I’m ready for the work again, the new classes, the exciting times with friends . . . and to be with my wonderful boyfriend, Klevi, again.  Now that’ll be one big hug.  ;)

Speaking of Klevi . . . he turned the big 21 last Wednesday.  I was sad I missed the celebration – it’s a big American milestone, but he reminded me that in Albania, 21 doesn’t mean much.  I can’t wait to be back in Grinnell to hang out with Klevi – we play ping-pong, race in Free Cell, watch movies, study together, and watch sports, among many other things.  I miss all of our time together, and I’m quite, QUITE excited to be back at school.  <3

Hey!

Catch my latest post at UC-SA for some religious meditations and a cute story from work!  I've been working on a more serious post for this blog, but alas, I am all too readily distracted.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll have something else interesting to post.

Cheers!

My internship

Hey y'all (yes, my politically correct geek overcame the grammar geek, which means I now use y'all with startling frequency):

If you're interested in learning more about my summer job/internship/, check out the webpage of my employer, Urban Connections:

http://www.urbanconnection-sa.org/

Basically, UC works with the families of Lincoln Heights Courts, a low-income housing project and helps them construct better lives.  My job involves the kids of the Courts, and I gotta tell you, I love them.  I help run summer camp, teach kids how to stand in straight lines, make frequent bathroom trips with kids, and spend way too much time in time-out with unruly children.  But it's great and I love it.

And, if you want to learn more about my coworkers and some of the staff at UC, check out the blog below!

http://urbanconnectionsa.blogspot.com/

Cheers!

In loving memory

Last week, we heard the devastating news that my beautiful, brave cousin, Anna Lee Basso, lost her battle with Ewing's Sarcoma cancer last Tuesday afternoon at the tender age of 18 years.  She entered Christ's eternal arms peacefully and while surrounded by loving family.  She fought her battle nobly, with enduring strength and admirable faith.  She touched over 1 million people in her eighteen years, and her memory will 'float on'.

Tonight was her prayer service and visitation, and the funeral mass begins tomorrow at eleven.  Please continue to pray.

With love through Christ,

Laura

Some thoughts

3) (All 9 seasons of Seinfeld) Last year, I became obsessed with Seinfeld.  Jerry’s whiny voices has not yet started grating on my nerves.  I love to hate George, while still maintaining a glimmer of love somewhere inside me.  Kramer is . . . Kramer.  As for Elaine, at some times she’s a role model for me, at other times I have no choice but to shake my head.  Thanks to my grandparents, I was able to purchase not one, not two, but ALL NINE SEASONS of Seinfeld in one glorious box set. 

I started Season One (NOT that entertaining) before school, but then I watched the remaining eight seasons at school.  Looking back, I have no idea when I did this or how I found the time or why I thought it was a good idea, but now I can relate moments back to Seinfeld on a nauseatingly frequent basis.

I think #4 and my love of arts and crafts warrants their own post, so that will follow shortly, but I do want to start filling you in on my summer job.

I feel blessed and lucky to have this job – I applied not late, or later, but really late, and it turns out someone had pulled out at the last minute and that the non-profit, Urban Connections – San Antonio wanted to offer me that position.  I accepted the offer last Monday, and now, 1.5 weeks later, I’m going through official AmeriCorps training in Dallas.  “AmeriCorps training” is code for corny-yet-still-strangely-effective team building games and listening to people talk.

I also learned much more about AmeriCorps (not challenging since my previous knowledge was nil), and I realized how exciting it is to be part of something big, to feel like am important member of an even more important organization doing good throughout the country.  It made me really excited about non-profits and working with others to benefit a community.  I’ve now met all my team-members, and I’m sure issues will surface throughout the year, but we know we can always return to the basic fact: we’re here because we care and want to make a difference.  That’s the bottom line, and it’s so different from my past.

I’m very goal-oriented, and once I set that goal, I will do everything within my power, and then some, to reach that goal.  We definitely have a goal here, but not only is it broad, but it’s community-based, teamwork-centered, and not self-centered.  I’m excited to dedicate a summer to something other than tennis, piano, or school.  I’ll be exhausted and sun burned (unintentionally!) and frustrated at times, but it won’t be about me.  It will be about approximately 75 kids from a low-income housing development and making their summers memorable.  And I can’t wait to start.