When I returned to school this semester, I noticed my goals and plans had shifted substantially. I’m definitely not the same person who entered Denison as a naïve freshman a year and a half ago, and when I think of those changes, I realize that I have no idea who I will be when I graduate from Grinnell. Okay, that’s not entirely true . . . I have some idea, because I have different goals and different emphases this time around.
Basically, I’m here for the complete college experience and not just the academics. Yes, I did pick Grinnell primarily for the outstanding academics and the passionate, diverse students, and yes, I’m doing homework on a Saturday night, and yes, I’ll still write papers well in advance, but I’m also determined to do so much more. I value the academics immensely and am thrilled by my classes, but I’m also excited by all the opportunities at Grinnell. I can become involved in countless ways, and the only problem will be deciding which groups I care about most.
I’ve felt considerably less stress so far than at Denison, and I honestly believe it’s because I’m pursuing activities outside of the classroom. I chose to put God first, and so far that decision has manifested itself through my commitment to attend Community Worship every Tuesday, a Bible Study every Thursday, and a prayer group on Friday. Then today I skipped a captains’ tennis practice in favor of an all-day prayer workshop, something I never would have done at Denison, and I left that workshop feeling strangely renewed and at peace. I was (and still am) aware of all the homework that needs to be completed for Monday, but it doesn’t worry me or stress me out. I just calmly approach it and complete it because I want to, because at some point this education is going to bring glory to God.
I want to elaborate briefly on the prayer workshop. It wasn’t what I expected . . . at all. I thought someone would talk about how to pray individually to God, how to stop your mind from . . . ooh, I should go check Facebook and then ooh, I really want to listen to that song . . . becoming distracted, how to worship God and give thanks through prayer, and things like that. In other words, things related to me. Instead, I came away with this profound sense of community and this feeling that, at this point in my Christian journey, I’m in the right place. I definitely fought that idea when I was looking at schools – I thought Wheaton might be the right place, where I’d be surrounded by like-minded Christians and there wouldn’t be conflict and we’d always support each other. I thought Grinnell wouldn’t provide a positive environment for Christians, but here is this group of people gathering to pray, to confess sins of unbelief, and to pray for each other.
The leader prayed over me and she brought tears to my eyes. She really felt that I was meant to be there, and it’s just another of God’s little signs telling me I’m in the right place. I told her that when I prayed I was struck by how I could be more loving, especially toward the tennis team, and she prayed that I would invite their questions, that they would be open with me, and that I would know what to say. And then tonight a teammate started asking me about the workshop; and then my prayers habits; and then Christianity in general. I couldn’t believe it. Now I’m scared and excited for tennis tomorrow, because the leader had a brief image of the girls asking me questions while we practiced . . .
I don’t know these people very well yet. I’m still a little apprehensive of Inter Varsity and what exactly their outreach entails. Mostly seniors were there today, and I felt like I was witnessing inside jokes sometimes. But then one guy walked through the door and enthusiastically welcomed me. Jenn came over to say how glad she was to see me. I knew I was welcomed and love no matter what. Finally, I think I’ll be able to experience an awesome Christian community with my peers, an experience I’ve never had to date. And at Grinnell, of all places. God is truly amazing.
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